Spinning around

Further to richyork today. Here are my spin-offs from today's news (after failed attempt to spin anything off Al Martino's demise).

These two stories had a common thread:Man in 80s detained over attack

and Woman, 70, held over PM hate mail . Geriatric crime. My spin on this

would be what is life like behind bars for the elderly first offender? I imagine old old lags are used to the privations and indignities, but what is it like for the newbies? What facilities exist for them? Presumably they don't have massive drug habits, except maybe a hankering for Werthers Originals, and I imagine they are not pestered too much for sex. What helps them make it through the night (or the six to nine months with time off for good behaviour)?

And then there was this 'Healthy' yoghurt banned . The headline is misleading, because of course it's not Actimel that is banned but the advertising strap that says it's good at preventing illness in children. My spin for this would be other outlandish advertising claims. You could go with a serious piece about recent claims for well known modern products such as this this , or hark back to the days when smoking was just about the best thing you could do to remain young and beautiful here .

Hmmm, I quite like both of those. If only I hadn't spent so long with Al Martino and his long-lived contemporaries. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.